Michael Phelps goes for the gold in the bum bum stroke at the Playboy Club in Vegas.

Dirty boy!

Quick, who’s the lamest actor in the world?

You’re right! It is Nic Cage. Exactly what I was thinking! And pretty much exactly what film critics who had the displeasure of watching Cage in this weekend’s Bangkok Dangerous were thinking.

The remake of a 1999 Tahi movie called, what do you know?, Bangkok Dangerous is holding steady at 10 percent on RottenTomatoes, but the small number of reviews seem to indicate that it wasn’t widely screened for reviewers (or it was and they just didn’t want to see it).Anyway, the consensus emerging from the reviews is that the movie is awful and Cage’s hair is worse. See for yourself:

“The only reason to see a Nicolas Cage movie these days is to have a good laugh at his latest wig.”—Mirror.co.uk

“Move over, Anton Chigurh: there’s a new contender for the worst-coiffed assassin in movie history, and it’s Nicolas Cage in this remake of the Pang brothers’ 1999 action thriller.”—Nashville Scene

“Every time Nicolas Cage makes a movie my small, shriveled soul dies a little more.”–Kamela

…48 bottles of Jack on the wall!

It’s Wino’s favorite song!  Amy Winehouse is scheduled to “perform” at the Bestival Festival this weekend, but organizers are worried.  Why?  Because Miz Wino has asked for 48 bottles of Jack Daniel’s in her concert rider.

A source told The Sun: “It’s common for artists to make requests for food and beverages before they arrive. But organisers have heard Miss Winehouse has ordered in an extremely large amount of Jack Daniel’s, in fact, a ridiculous amount that she and her team could not possibly consume during their short stay. With Amy’s record this can mean failure to perform or giving a shambolic performance. Whiskey is better than heroin — but not 48 bottles of the stuff.”

Should make for an interesting show! P.S.: Love the word “shambolic”!

Last year, after given what he considered a second-rate slot by performing in a Palms’ suite instead of the VMA stage, Kanye West pledged never to return to the MTV VMAs.

I guess he changed his mind, or MTV offered him enough money.  It turns out West will perform at the VMAs again, as MTV announced today that both West and Christina Aguilera were added to the award show’s performer roster. In the case of Aguilera, she’ll perform her old-school hit “Genie In A Bottle” in honor of the show’s 25th anniversary. The “Genie” will likely be the refurbished, rerecorded version of the song that will appear on Xtina’s upcoming Target-only greatest hits.

As for West, if rumors of the rapper releasing a new song this weekend are true, it’s a safe bet that he’ll perform the rumored new track “Love Lockdown.” Kanye and Christina join Rihanna, Paramore, the Jonas Brothers, Pink, Kid Rock, T.I. and show opener Britney Spears.

The Russell Brand-hosted ceremony airs this Sunday night.

In other news….

Christina Aguilera bears a striking resemblence to Brooke Hogan.  Maybe it’s just their kissy faces and fake tans. Observe:

Xtina.

The Brookster

Jim Adkins, lead singer of Jimmy Eat World, will be playing a solo show opening up for Calexico in Tucson, September 20th.

It isn’t just a Tucson road trip. Proceeds from the show will be donated to the campaign of congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, Arizona congressional district 8.

You can get info and buy tickets here.

It’s been a little over a month since The Dark Knight hit theaters. We’ve gone through record breaking sales, fanboy freakouts, and, of course, the obligatory backlash.

So it only makes sense that the Batman sequel speculation has already begun. The Hollywood Reporter leaked recently that Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures are ready to greenlight a third Batman film, which isn’t too surprising considering that the film has made—and these are exact numbers, people—eleventy billion dollars.

The studios, however, are waiting on writer/director Christopher Nolan to come up with a “story and a plan” for the next film. But don’t expect to hear anything official any time soon. Nolan is currently on vacation, which I’m going to assume involves the director laying on a private beach made out of actual money.

Much like the aftermath of Rage Against the Machine’s fiery attempted concert outside the Republican National Convention on Tuesday, fans and police scuffled following the band’s proper concert at Minneapolis’ Target Center last night, with 102 people being arrested.

While 87 people were tagged and released, 15 fans were booked on charges.

These people need to get a life.  Does rioting, looting, and violence help the Democratic agenda?  Or are these “protesters” just out to cause some havoc?

On Monday, the first day of the convention, while Republicans were promoting ways to help aid in hurricane relief, the crowd outside staged its biggest protest, resulting in even more violence and property damage than even Rage Against the Machine fans could deliver.

Classy.

Let’s shoot for a higher standard!

Will she or won’t she appear on stage?

That’s been the question that’s dogged Britney Spears ever since the pop princess was nominated at this year’s MTV Video Music Awards, scheduled to air live this Sunday, September 7th. While Spears’ reps have outright stated the singer won’t perform at the event, it was announced last night that she will kick off the awards show in what is being called “an opening not to be missed.”

“MTV has long played an important role in my career. How can I not be there to kick off their 25th VMAs?  I’m excited to open the entire show, to say hi to my fans and to be nominated,” Spears said in a statement. Spears is up for three major awards at the VMAs, including Video of the Year for “Piece of Me.”

“Britney has done everything from perform with a snake, lock lips with Madonna and prove that what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas,” MTV president Van Toffler added.

I knew it wouldn’t take long for Johnny to step up and make this new category!

Johnny Depp returned to his musical roots last Friday night, reuniting with his old band The Kids for a fund-raiser in Florida.

With his fuggers girlfriend, Vanessa Paradis, and their 9-year-old daughter, Lily-Rose, screaming in the crowd of 2,500, the Oscar-nominated actor strapped on a guitar and sang backup vocals during the power-pop group’s 90-minute set.

The second annual Sheila Witkin Memorial Reunion Concert honors The Kids’ late manager, who was well known in South Florida’s music scene.

All proceeds from the benefit go to the Dan Marino Foundation, which funds programs for children with special needs. The band also reunited in January 2007 for the same cause.

The 45-year-old actor joined The Kids when he was a high school student in Miramar, Fla., and moved to Los Angeles with them in search of a record deal. After the band broke up, Depp decided to pursue a career in acting.

Love him.  Love. Him.

  Weeeee!

Coldplay have figured out what to do with the leftovers from their Viva La Vida sessions: Chris Martin says they’ll release a new EP titled either Prospects March or Prospects Songs or “something like that” on December 26th.

Talking on the BBC’s 6 Music to host Steve Lamacq and R.E.M. frontman Michael Stipe, Martin was responding to rumors that the band’s sessions with Viva producer Brian Eno resulted in enough material for two albums. Martin says the EP will host the leftover songs, while Coldplay also hope to release an album of brand-new material by the end of 2009. “We’re gonna have another record ready by November 2009 to end the decade,” Martin said.

As for the EP, Stipe indicated he preferred Prospects March; the disc is expected to house the song “Luna,” Coldplay’s collaboration with Kylie Minogue.

For Coldplay tour dates, click HERE

For Kylie Minogue tour dates, click HERE

Also, check out the amazing “alternative” video for “Viva La Vida,” directed by “Heart-Shaped Box” and Control visionary Anton Corbijn: